Sunday, September 28, 2008

Nostalgia Alert: If My Husband Were a Woman

Today is the day my husband look at one another and say, "Yes, I do, all over again". This is for him:

If my husband were a woman, he would make other women jealous with his lightning fast metabolism and slender thighs. He would be despised.

If my husband were a woman, I am quite certain that Calvin and Jude would have been breastfed for as long as they liked. He never would have complained about cracked nipples, sleepless nights or leaky boobs. He instead would have basked in the motherly bond.

If my husband were a woman, he would never spend time or money on getting a manicure or pedicure. He would never consider dyeing or highlighting his hair. There would be no waxing of eyebrows, no makeup or conditioner. He would be a natural woman.

If my husband were a woman, he would not be obsessed with cute shoes or sassy handbags. He would still only need about two pairs of shoes and a multi-purpose diaper bag. He would not be the kind of woman who cared that brown shoes don't go with black pants. He would be confident enough in himself not to be a slave to fashion. He would be comfortable.

If my husband were a woman, he would be a stay-at-home mom and love every minute of it. The house would be clean, the laundry would be folded and put away regularly. The house would smell of delicious and nutricious home cooked meals every night. He would be a nurturer.

If my husband were a woman, he would wear the baby in a sling and commune with nature on a daily basis. He would be a crunchy Disney princess, a friend to animals and nature, without all the makeup and fancy dresses and shoes. He would be an earth mother.

If my husband were a woman, he would never complain about needing time by himself. He would never take issue with being home with small children all day. He would make the most of every day and take pleasure in all of the small and amazing things the children discover every day. He would never cry or yell or scream, or mark the days until Girls' Night Out. He would be satisfied.

If my husband were a woman, I would wish to be more like him.

Matt, thank you for the best 12 years of my life. You are the only one, forever. I love you.


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