Most people over the age of 30 will probably remember when Andrew Dice Clay was one of the filthiest and most controversial comics around. Even I remember him when I was just a little girl and blushing whenever someone said his name because he was supposed to be so dirty. I thought for sure I would get punished just for knowing his name. He’s probably pretty tame by today’s standards, but I digress.
My husband remembers Andrew Dice Clay’s whole “Nursery Rhyme” montage, and for some reason still chuckles about it (look, he grew up in a town of 4,000 people, he didn’t get out much). If you’re not familiar with what I am talking about you can check it out here, but I am warning you to clear the kids from the room before you watch it. Now, you probably have to be an adult to get most of the references, but if a child picks up on one of these lines and starts quoting it in mixed company you won’t be winning any parent of the year awards, which bring me to my point, finally.
My husband, in all his bumpkin good humor thought it would be funny to teach one of these gems to our seven year-old son. Now, as I’ve said before my husband really is a terrific dad and goes above and beyond the call, but sometimes he makes poor judgment calls, and this would be one of them.
The Honeybee has a memory like no other. This kid can watch a TV show once and quote every line from the show the next time it comes on. So, teaching him naughty little nursery rhymes that will quickly get repeated in school is not the most brilliant plan. The one Honeybee glommed onto was this lovely little ditty:
“Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50. Ohh!”
Honeybee, being the seven year-old that he is, changed the characters in the rhyme to Squidward and SpongeBob, which of course makes it that much funnier. Honeybee has no idea what this means, his teachers, and his friend’s parents of course do. I’m expecting the phone to start ringing any minute now. Oh, and when it does, trust me, Buzzer is going to be answering that one.